So I've started grad school. I'm a week into it. And I'm not so scared of the recitations I'm teaching anymore, but I am very intimidated by the level of math that I'm doing. I've never really had to work that hard at math. It's come naturally to me. I have the distinct feeling that I'm going to be doing a large amount of work studying and reading and re-studying and re-reading. Daunting, but doable I think.
Being in front of the classroom isn't nearly as scary as I made it up to be. I actually had nightmares about it before hand. In my dream (nightmare) I missed my recitations because I was busy doing something else. I woke up and was completely freaked out. So I got up early at 7 am, way early for me. And went to campus a half an hour early, just in case something went wrong. I got to class 10 minutes early and there were already people there! I pulled out my worksheets and the notes I'd written down so I wouldn't forget my name. Then I sat there for the remaining 8 minutes in silence staring. It was so freaking uncomfortable. It didn't help with my nerves at all. I started class about a minute early and was kind of stuttery and hestitant. They didn't have any questions for me so I just started them right in on the worksheet. They seemed pretty tired and slow moving, but once they started talking to each other and asking me questions I felt a lot better and was able to move into a fairly comfortable state of mind. The questions they were asking me I knew inside and outside, it was all material the was familiar to me and something tangible I could deal with. It fit me like a well worn shoe. Which was strange. I didn't think I'd feel that way about being in front of a class.
When I was in Bozeman visiting J, he passed on some books to me. One of them was The Living Dead, which is a compilation of Zombie short stories and I'm absolutely in love with it. Some of the zombies are semi-intelligent and others are the mindless come after you type. It's a good book to take with and read sporatically on errands because the stories are short enough that you don't actually lose your place. I'd recommend it as a fun read. Zombies are my new favorite scary thing if you hadn't guessed.
