Flux

Flux -or- An Update on the Life of a Panda (for those interested in what’s happening in my life)

 

A short recap. I quit my job at the Native Village of Unalakleet in November 2016.

 

I moved to a boyfriend’s homestead outside of Philipsburg, MT in February 2017.

 

I knew moving would be a catalyst, going from a long distance relationship to living together just is. It either would work or it wouldn’t work. And I would never know unless I actually did it.

 

There were a few things that happened leading up to me moving that made me hesitate, so I gave myself a fairly decent cushion, so I could move back to Alaska if I needed to. I didn’t want to end up stuck in a situation that wasn’t working for me. (Sometimes I’m really happy that I’m an over planner.)

 

Moving in was a smooth transition. The first couple months worked really well. Remarkably well. Turns out I thrive living in a homestead environment. However one of the things that happened (that caused me to hesitate) before I moved in started influencing things more and more. It felt like his dreams grew bigger than our relationship. And while I supported his dreams, I still needed to feel a connection and for there to be an element of our dreams.

 

Things happened and in the first part of June, I told him I was moving back to Alaska and that I would like to go back to a long distance relationship with him (because that was working before). In the end I officially ended all things with him in the end of July.

 

It was hard for me to give up my dream of living on the homestead with him. It had been my dreams for the past three+ years. It was hard breaking up with my first love, my first relationship.

 

In order to help me move (and because she wanted some rad new wheels) my mama let me buy a car for her in Missoula, which I used to move my stuff off the homestead. She’s graciously letting me borrow her wheels to go on a crazy road trip adventure around the Western part of the US. Soon I’ll be making the journey up the AlCan with said things and moving back to the village for a bit.

 

I’m not sure yet what my new direction will be. I’m sure something interesting will cross my path. But for now, I’m adventuring and being happy. And that’s a good thing.