nothing

i can't sleep. i'm tired of feeling like a cliche.

i accidently ripped the nail off of part of my right big toe. i can feel it when i rub my "pointer" toe on it. it's not exactly pain but it's not exactly a good feeling either. irritating? awareness? i'm sure it'll hurt tomorrow when i'm wearing socks and shoes but for now it's just there.

i just need you now. it's a quarter after one. i'm a little lost and i need you now.

i played super mario bros. wii a little tonight beacuse i couldn't sleep. it was the first time i'd played it since karis left to anchorage. i enjoyed it. i love my video games but it just wasn't the same. no yelling and screaming. no heart thumping close calls. just silence and the now and then sound a big man, a fire flower, a goomba getting stomped and mario dying. maybe i should switch to metroid prime for a while.

texts from last night always amuses me. however i'm all caugh up on reading the new ones and don't feel like randomizing. i'd probably stay up way too late, which i'm already doing if i started doing that.

the d key on my keyboard keeps falling off. i'm trying to teach myself to type with it off but it just feels like a weird nipple. awkward.

i wonder if anyone actually reads this stuff. you should email me if you do. or write me a letter. i like letters.

i don't really have anything to say tonight, just pulling whatever comes to my mind and pushing it out in an attempt to get rid of thoughts that are keeping me awake. thoughts that are haunting me. such a big unknown. such a happy life. such a strange life.

training or rather a hazwoper course starts tomorrow. 4 - 10 hour days. because of lack of sleep it'll be a doozy. i'm really hoping i don't do my typical head bob thing. i struggle staying awake when my mind isn't active. too bad i can't control very well when it's active and when it's numb. that'd be okay with me if i could.

i'm going to visit miss ayaire at the end of this month/beginning of next month. i'm super stoked on that. she always builds me up and makes me feel like an incredible person. i love people that build you up and encourage you. i try to do that for people in my life and i'm never sure if i do or not.