Do you ever change coffee mugs because you haven't washed the coffee mug you normally use for about a week and realize the fit of the replacement is better for your hand? Just feels more natural. I think I might be switching coffee mugs. I hope my other coffee mug doesn't mind very much. Maybe it'll just think that I'm taking turns.
I've recently decided to quit graduate school. I thought when I started graduate school that it might have been what I was looking for. What I was passionate about. Turns out it wasn't. It wasn't making me happy. It won't make me happy. And I think I could have done it and succeeded. But I would have been pretty miserable. It would have been safe. It's much scarier saying I don't want this I'm going to look for something else. Something I might never find, might never succeed at even if I do find out what I want.
Quitting graduate school really opened my eyes to how blessed I am in family and friends. Everyone that I consider close to me has been full of support and love and encouragement. I honestly did not think that would happen. I expected a lot of arguing. A lot of "I'm disappointed." It blew my mind. How I got so blessed I'll never know, but I'm thankful everyday for the people that I love. Especially my mother. I'd be lost without her.
Right now I'm looking at options on the home front. I've applied for a job at the post office at home. I've always wanted to work at a post office, since we were drawing what we wanted to be when we grew up in kindergarten. I need to get my fingerprints done today or tomorrow and get the paper portion of the application in the mail. That work would be temporary and part-time which would help me get my feet back under me. Also, there is a program in Alaska called AKT2, which is a non-traditional teacher certification program. The deadline is passed for this year, but I have some folks trying to get me into the program. I would take a 3 week course over the summer and get a temporary teacher's certificate. Then I would be able to teach in a school district in Alaska and over the course of 2 years I would study and get a teacher's certificate while working. It's amazing how these opportunities seemed to present themselves after I made this decision.
I'm slowly starting to purge myself of some of my crap. Not nearly enough I'm sure but I'm trying. I'm moving DVD's to a case and have thrown away two bags of raggy clothes and have two bags ready to drop off for thrift. I need to sell my walker, my papasan, and a few other things, but I think a lot of stuff is just going into storage. I'm actually really proud of the fact that I was able to get rid of so much clothing. If I didn't have craftwork I'd have a lot less to store as well. Curse of the crafty, I guess.
Today's going to be a long day. I couldn't sleep last night, try as I may. I tossed and turned and curled up and stayed awake through it all. I'm hoping my hours move into something more normal when I'm at home.
If anyone wants a crazy, wonderful, fucked up read. Go for Permanent Midnight by Jerry Stahl.
If anyone wants a good listen go for The Exponents. :) 80's genius dear friends.
If anyone wants a light hearted N64 game go for Paper Mario.
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