Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I wish I could sleep.

Some nights I sleep for 4 hours and then am just awake. Not wake up, roll over and fall back asleep. Just wake up and my eyes are open. I remember being able to sleep. I guess I get more done though because I have more time. Ha. I don't know if I always use this time productively though. I've been coloring, beading, knitting, reading, playing video games, cooking actual meals, spending time with friends, and crocheting. I've definitely had my zone out moments though when I just sit and stare at that TV.

Part of me is really freaking out about packing up all my shit and getting it into storage in a reasonable time. Another huge part of me is freaking out about finding someone to rent my place. Yet there is a huge zen part of me that knows I'll deal with shit as it comes. Things happen for a reason. If not then you just deal with it. Ya know? I used to freak out and really worry and not sleep at all, but I've gotten better and just dealing with stuff when the time comes and not worry about it so much before hand.

I'll be home in four days after two days of travel. I hate flying. The flights down were the bumpiest I'd had in a long time and they completely freaked me out. Especially leaving Anchorage to come back here to Boulder. It was making the plane creak and groan. If the flights are like that I'm going to be completely miserable. Took all I had in me to not cry. I'm turning into such a wuss. This is precisely why I will never be able to go on a roller coaster ride.

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