Sleepless nights

I've been thinking about this on and off for a while.  About insomnia and dreams.  And silly explanations that fail to make sense.  Sometimes I feel like I can't sleep at night because I don't have anything to dream.  I've never had dreams.  Never had that goal or job or dream to work for. Never wanted anything.  I mean I want happiness.  Ultimately.  But, who doesn't?  For someone (and I hate to sound like a pompous ass or anything) with considerable smarts and skills, why don't I have a dream?  Why don't I want something?  Why don't I have this life goal?  How can I just be floating by looking for something that will make me happy for a little while till I find something else?  What's wrong with me?  What did I miss?  What part of me is missing?

In my world I have insomnia because I've used up all my dreams.  On the nights that I can sleep, it's because a dream, even if it's just a day dream, has found me and enveloped me in tryptophan or sleep kisses.  On the nights I can't sleep, it's because nothing in me wants to dream or can dream.  Such a juvenile thought.

All smiles

And I don't know how it gets better than this, you take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless.

I'm not looking to shabby...  :)  This makes me happy.

New boots.  Yup, I'm in love.

I'm slimmer than I've been in a good bit of time.  I'm not entirely sure how it happened.  I started out running and that definitely helped.  I haven't been running for a few weeks now and I'm still managing to lose a few pounds here and there.  Although lately I've been out and about more and the weight has been melting off of me.  It's incredible.
I've had the opportunity to go out into the country with friends more than I've had in any other year before of being home.  And I've jumped at every opportunity.  Maybe that's helped.  Not having access to munchies all the time, and being out and active.  I'm not sure, but I'm gonna go with it and keep smiling.
I feel silly saying it, but I don't look too bad these days.

The pink and black dress

 I have a clothing addiction and for the first time I have a really good fundage situation going on for it.  I'm not sure how good of a thing this necessarily is.  I recently got this dress.  I saw my friend Colleen wearing something similar once upon a fantastic time when I ended up crashing at her place after getting thoroughly intoxicated on a Friday evening at the Diva Variety Show.  Hers of course was classier and prettier and probably a bit more expensive and fancy, but that just ain't my style.  This is:

And I adore it.

And surprisingly enough to me, it works on my body type.  Not fantastically.  Nothing ever seems to fit me fantastically but this is close enough for me.  I think I've worn it out two or three times already.  Which considering I only dress up in Anchorage and then when I'm not doing bush shopping is considered often.  Lol....  Ah well, I hope to be going to Anchorage sometime soon.  Boots and dresses and heels..... *sigh*

New boots

Payday is both a blessing and a curse.  I get paid and I feel the instant need to buy a little treat for myself.  :)  I don't think I'm the only human being that has this little urge.  However, I probably succumb to it more than most.  I've been wanting boots for a while.  And I love boots with a defined heel, but these wedge type boots just jumped out at me.  They were on sale for $14.99 and for a clumsy panda the wedge is probably better than a heel.  Needless to say, I can't wait till my next trip to Anchorage when I get to rock this puppies out.

All the way up

Folded down - Bestie's vote

Drawing

You may recognize this from a previous post.  Or at least the picture that it's based off of.

Victor "Duke" Kotongan

Favorites

This is my favorite plaid shirt.  It has snap close buttons and is super light and soft.

Favorites are good.

These are my favorite jeans (again).  New patches have been added.

Because it's not warm enough to wear dresses solo these days

I really wanted to wear a dress.  Or at least dress up more than my typical jeans and t-shirt.  So I went with a dress AND a zippy up thing and some jeans that I made skinny because I was curious how they would look on me.  The dress I got for summer time in Durango and ended up wearing it as a witness for my friends wedding.  It's super light and summery.  Which was perfect for Durango.  Not so perfect for Unalakleet.

I love the pandas on my shoulder.

The orange zippy-thing I got from Ms Marty Osredker for my birthday.  It looks fantastic when it's unzipped and I love it.  However when you zip it up it has a bulge from the zipper is a fairly unattractive place.  My Mom suggested that I replace the zipper and gather the material a little bit.  This is a genius idea and I'll probably get around to it one of these days.  But for now it shall remain an unzipped accoutrement to other articles of clothing.

The jeans.  Not so bad.  Unless you can see my lack of ass then they're kind of awkward.

The jeans are from Old Navy.  But originally they were a boot cut or a wide leg or a flare.  And they were HUGE.  They didn't fit my hips or but or anything.  However they were stretchy and about $4.  So I bought em knowing I could always resize them.  The first time I resized them, I just cut em down and kept 'em as flares.  I still wasn't very keen on them.  And I was curious about skinny jeans for my winter boots.  This let to me cutting them down sewing 'em into skinny jeans.  This worked surprisingly well for me.  So now I have skinny jeans.  And I like the pairing with the dress.  So there.

I just looked up at the leg picture and realized the my socks MATCH my dress.  This was not intentional.  I don't ever think about my socks.  But it is a very pleasant surprise.