balls.

Remind me when I unpack my storage unit to dispose of 5 things. Be it an octopus, a box of crap, a bag of clothes, a unit of shelves, SOMETHING!

Arrowhead Lace

Practicing a new stich in hat format. I got this stitch from my stitch a day calender. (Yes, I have one.) The yarn was from my dear, sweet Mom. I love how the colors blended with full rings that are thick and thin. It's harder to see the actual pattern in the picture but the lace holes angle up and then down. The pattern is done in sets of 10 stitches and then repeats. I used size 9 needles with 60 stitches. Hats are fun because they work up fast. It's nice working on big projects that take a long time and little projects that make you feel like you're accomplishing something.

Arrowhead

I think I need a job.

Or at least less time on my hands.

My fish have a new home.

They're getting picked up today. Kinda sad, but another thing checked off my list. And they're going to a good home. *sigh*

I've been working on an afghan for a few years (it's going very slowly) but it uses a technique for a haveing a reverse side. It's also twice as thick as normal knitting. So I thought I'd give it a try for a hat! I like it except I think the stitches are a little stretched out. I need to use a smaller sized needle with a more stitches. So I'll have to experiment with that. I hate having to rip though and I ripped out a hat last night. :( Such are the joys of knitting without a pattern. Anyways... here is the first experiment.

the grey side

the black side

The shelf of movies is finally all packed up. I think I'm going to break it down today and stick it in the porch. I really like the wooden shelves. I think I kind of want to save them. I'm going to get rid of the metal shelf though. That guy has traveled with me for years and it's kind of a piece of crap. It's definitely moving on. I had people pick up stuff yesterday and am having two others pick up stuff today. I feel so good everytime something leaves my presence. And even better than I know it's going to be used. Now just keep your fingers crossed that my place is subleased before February 1st. That'd be really great. Thanks.

Two thousand ten so far has been the hear from old friends and reconnect with people year. It started out with Chelsea and I giving Ryder and Annette a surprise visit. Ten years ago we did a time capsule with letters to each other when we were 15 and 16 years old. This was the year we scheduled to open it. Me being the weird, anal person that I am when it comes to this stuff, I brought it into Anchorage because Ryder, Chelsea, and I were all going to be there. Amazing. Chelsea and I were fairly nervous when we knocked on the door but after a few minutes we were comfortable and taking a hammer to the bottle. Some of the letters were read aloud and others were saved to be read alone. A few apologies were given and accepted and emails were given around. It was wonderful to see Ryder and to be at ease around him. Hopefully our friendship will be rekindled. I've missed that guy.

And a few days ago my old classmate Travis called and chatted with me for a good bit. He was with his kids, who sounded like they were having a blast. It's amazing how far so many of my classmates have come. So many of them have families or are starting families and have jobs and are growing up. One more year and we can plan a 10 year high school reunion. Creepy. At least I think so.

hoarder

I've decided I'm on the road to being a hoarder. If one person who moves at least once every year can fill a 2 bedroom house with stuff, then that individual has too much crap! I have been doing my best to get rid of stuff but it's kinda hard when you're a craft person who loves books, movies, and music. Craft supplies are just bulky in general and I am into more than one. This results in tubs of yarn, tubs of material, and boxes of beads. I have a whole shelf of crap. I don't want to give up any of those hobbies though.

I will not give into the digital age when it comes to books either. I love being able to hold a book and dog ear pages. I love the weight of a book in your hand or on your chest as you're falling asleep. The idea of a kindle or other digital book thingy just makes me sad. So it's hard getting rid of books, although I have managed to pass on a few and have given some to used book stores. Which is a tease really because being in a used book store stuffed full of potential and not being able to get anything new is just torture. I'm tempted to pick ten more books and give them up just so I can get some new ones. I think I just talked myself into it.

To downsize my DVD's, or at least the bulkyness of them I've moved them into booklets. So I still have them, they're just more compact. Sadly to say you can't really do that with VHS tapes. And I refuse to give up most of my VHS tapes but I've convinced myself to part with some. I suppose I don't really need Puff the Magic Dragon or Frosty the Snowman. I suppose.

Sweet nectar of life. Coffee I love you. It just has to be said.

Regardless of me thinking of all of this, I'm not moving very fast in the packing direction. 21 days. The 3 week countdown begins. Oh crap. I need to look into a ticket back north too.

I wish I could sleep.

Some nights I sleep for 4 hours and then am just awake. Not wake up, roll over and fall back asleep. Just wake up and my eyes are open. I remember being able to sleep. I guess I get more done though because I have more time. Ha. I don't know if I always use this time productively though. I've been coloring, beading, knitting, reading, playing video games, cooking actual meals, spending time with friends, and crocheting. I've definitely had my zone out moments though when I just sit and stare at that TV.

Part of me is really freaking out about packing up all my shit and getting it into storage in a reasonable time. Another huge part of me is freaking out about finding someone to rent my place. Yet there is a huge zen part of me that knows I'll deal with shit as it comes. Things happen for a reason. If not then you just deal with it. Ya know? I used to freak out and really worry and not sleep at all, but I've gotten better and just dealing with stuff when the time comes and not worry about it so much before hand.

I'll be home in four days after two days of travel. I hate flying. The flights down were the bumpiest I'd had in a long time and they completely freaked me out. Especially leaving Anchorage to come back here to Boulder. It was making the plane creak and groan. If the flights are like that I'm going to be completely miserable. Took all I had in me to not cry. I'm turning into such a wuss. This is precisely why I will never be able to go on a roller coaster ride.

coffee mugs and friends

Do you ever change coffee mugs because you haven't washed the coffee mug you normally use for about a week and realize the fit of the replacement is better for your hand? Just feels more natural. I think I might be switching coffee mugs. I hope my other coffee mug doesn't mind very much. Maybe it'll just think that I'm taking turns.

I've recently decided to quit graduate school. I thought when I started graduate school that it might have been what I was looking for. What I was passionate about. Turns out it wasn't. It wasn't making me happy. It won't make me happy. And I think I could have done it and succeeded. But I would have been pretty miserable. It would have been safe. It's much scarier saying I don't want this I'm going to look for something else. Something I might never find, might never succeed at even if I do find out what I want.

Quitting graduate school really opened my eyes to how blessed I am in family and friends. Everyone that I consider close to me has been full of support and love and encouragement. I honestly did not think that would happen. I expected a lot of arguing. A lot of "I'm disappointed." It blew my mind. How I got so blessed I'll never know, but I'm thankful everyday for the people that I love. Especially my mother. I'd be lost without her.

Right now I'm looking at options on the home front. I've applied for a job at the post office at home. I've always wanted to work at a post office, since we were drawing what we wanted to be when we grew up in kindergarten. I need to get my fingerprints done today or tomorrow and get the paper portion of the application in the mail. That work would be temporary and part-time which would help me get my feet back under me. Also, there is a program in Alaska called AKT2, which is a non-traditional teacher certification program. The deadline is passed for this year, but I have some folks trying to get me into the program. I would take a 3 week course over the summer and get a temporary teacher's certificate. Then I would be able to teach in a school district in Alaska and over the course of 2 years I would study and get a teacher's certificate while working. It's amazing how these opportunities seemed to present themselves after I made this decision.

I'm slowly starting to purge myself of some of my crap. Not nearly enough I'm sure but I'm trying. I'm moving DVD's to a case and have thrown away two bags of raggy clothes and have two bags ready to drop off for thrift. I need to sell my walker, my papasan, and a few other things, but I think a lot of stuff is just going into storage. I'm actually really proud of the fact that I was able to get rid of so much clothing. If I didn't have craftwork I'd have a lot less to store as well. Curse of the crafty, I guess.

Today's going to be a long day. I couldn't sleep last night, try as I may. I tossed and turned and curled up and stayed awake through it all. I'm hoping my hours move into something more normal when I'm at home.

If anyone wants a crazy, wonderful, fucked up read. Go for Permanent Midnight by Jerry Stahl.

If anyone wants a good listen go for The Exponents. :) 80's genius dear friends.

If anyone wants a light hearted N64 game go for Paper Mario.